Blog Religious and Childhood Traumas, and the Aftermath 28 May 20217 Jun 2021 In a previous post a couple months back, I stated that all the hate belongs to me. Just a week ago I was feeling that intensity again, to the point…
Blog Wish Me Luck, I’ll Try Not to Die From a Panic Attack. 5 May 202128 May 2021 I'm meeting my Pastor this morning and I feel like the anxiety is going to kill me. Like give me a heart attack. I had planned to discuss some moral…
Blog… Recipe for Scrupulosity/Religious OCD. 14 Apr 202128 May 2021 I have been spending a lot time contemplating my "backstory". My theory is, if I figure out the why, I can therefore figure out a solution and fix what was…
Blog… Stopping the Downward Spiral. 12 Apr 202128 May 2021 Anxiety kept me from church Sunday, and now I’m going down the rabbit hole of depression and even more anxiety. It feels shallow to admit it stems from not receiving…
Blog Reflection: Hiding my Scars 10 Apr 2021 It's been 2 days. It feels like years. That I sent an email to my Pastor and I'm awaiting a response. I normally have the patience of a Saint, truly.…
Blog OCD, Shame, Fear, Hate, Traumatic Childhood…Oh My? 9 Apr 2021 I find myself upset, or "moody" currently and getting depressed. So rather than anxiety triggering a compulsion...it's my depression. Which for some reason, doesn't really feel right or make sense.…
Blog… Control the Panic, ERP 5 Apr 202128 May 2021 I did my first try at the exposure therapy (ERP) today and drove to my church and parked outside. My anxiety was through the roof and my chest hurt pretty…
Blog… Easter Didn’t Kill Me, but it Might as Well Have 5 Apr 202128 May 2021 Easter is hard for me. I feel guilty for ever feeling bad when people talk about Christ’s suffering. Maybe guilt isn’t the word, it just feels so much more than…
Blog… Huge Progress 31 Mar 20211 Apr 2021 I went through a lot today and it was hard, but things are looking up because I have support and hope. I talked to my psychiatrist about the religious OCD…
Blog… The Assault Victim’s Fault, a Pastor’s Opinion 31 Mar 202128 May 2021 Years back I nearly got up and walked out of a church in the middle of a service. I was a visitor to an employee’s church and the Preacher had…
