Blog Religious and Childhood Traumas, and the Aftermath 28 May 20217 Jun 2021 In a previous post a couple months back, I stated that all the hate belongs to me. Just a week ago I was feeling that intensity again, to the point…
Blog… Birthday Sadness, Social Anxiety, and Dealing with Narcissist Tendencies. 28 May 202128 May 2021 I just turned 40. I’m not depressed about the number in the slightest. I felt old a decade ago when I was developing signs of fibromyalgia. It’s just a number,…
Blog… The Hot Scrupulosity Question, When Does Salvation Finally “Stick”? 21 May 202128 May 2021 If I heard about salvation at the age of 9 and decided to myself, "Wow, I want that!" and then prayed what the preacher said to pray, is that when…
Blog Stressed and at the End of Your Rope. Do You Know When to Tap Out? 9 May 202128 May 2021 Sometimes stress can take its toll on your health, both mental and physical. I have experienced this time and time again where high levels of stress end up basically putting…
Blog Wish Me Luck, I’ll Try Not to Die From a Panic Attack. 5 May 202128 May 2021 I'm meeting my Pastor this morning and I feel like the anxiety is going to kill me. Like give me a heart attack. I had planned to discuss some moral…
Blog… Moral Ambiguity, Is it ok? 1 May 2021 I had a friend recently confide something in me she thought I would think badly about her or her partner/wife about. It breaks my heart that she would have thought…
Blog Mental Illness, Satan’s Lies, or a Bit of Both? 28 Apr 202128 May 2021 I took a huge step last week and shared much of my past/story with my Pastor, via email. I thought it was going to kill me, truth be told. The…
Blog… Deadlock, Stalemate, Standstill 16 Apr 202118 Apr 2021 News release: Social anxiety causes impasse. Or that’s what my internal news header would read if I had one. Think Inside Out kinda world going on (now I need to…
Blog Hashimotos, My Answer to Prayer? Say What? 15 Apr 202128 May 2021 Most people when I tell them I have Hashimotos, they look at me sideways, as they don't know what I'm talking about. Or they look at my lovely colorful hair…
Blog… Recipe for Scrupulosity/Religious OCD. 14 Apr 202128 May 2021 I have been spending a lot time contemplating my "backstory". My theory is, if I figure out the why, I can therefore figure out a solution and fix what was…
Blog… Stopping the Downward Spiral. 12 Apr 202128 May 2021 Anxiety kept me from church Sunday, and now I’m going down the rabbit hole of depression and even more anxiety. It feels shallow to admit it stems from not receiving…
Blog “Stupid seems to be in the air” 11 Apr 202115 May 2021 open.spotify.com/track/5f6JnxY2aqNdF3qFIPozUd "Soulless and stealing what they dare Hold your deck to your chest Faceless, nobody is your friend Make it, take it, they won't share" Not my usual EDM, Christian…
Blog OCD, Shame, Fear, Hate, Traumatic Childhood…Oh My? 9 Apr 2021 I find myself upset, or "moody" currently and getting depressed. So rather than anxiety triggering a compulsion...it's my depression. Which for some reason, doesn't really feel right or make sense.…
Blog… Control the Panic, ERP 5 Apr 202128 May 2021 I did my first try at the exposure therapy (ERP) today and drove to my church and parked outside. My anxiety was through the roof and my chest hurt pretty…
Blog… Easter Didn’t Kill Me, but it Might as Well Have 5 Apr 202128 May 2021 Easter is hard for me. I feel guilty for ever feeling bad when people talk about Christ’s suffering. Maybe guilt isn’t the word, it just feels so much more than…
