To Love (And Lose) A Dog

I love my pets more than I think I should. They are so very important, like little furry children that provide unconditional love that you just can’t get from anywhere else. They don’t get mad and hold grudges, they’re always happy to see me, and they always want to give me kisses and hugs no matter what. It’s really a feeling that can’t be beat because my 2 fur babies are the awesomest dogs.

I have a 5 year old Standard Schnauzer named Marble and a 2.5 year old chocolate Shih Tzu named Beebo.

Today my heart is very grieved because of one of my fur babies. Beebo, to be specific.

Beebo was born with a congenital birth defect called Renal Dysplasia. His kidneys didn’t form properly and well, he was given a prognosis as a puppy of 6 months to 2 years to live.

Yea, he’s now 2.5, he’s made it passed his estimated expiration date, so to speak. We’ve treated him holistically with supplements for his kidneys and treated the nausea that’s common with his condition. Both Vet recommended medicine and self researched supplements that have done amazing. Thus far, he’s done fairly well, having a few off days but mostly good. He just pees a lot and we have to control his drinking because he always thinks he’s thirsty due to his illness. We’ve adapted and he’s well cared for.

Beebo – not feeling well

Beebo is now not doing so well. Last week was the last time he ate of his own accord and over the weekend he stopped being able to keep water down.

I brought him to the Veterinarian first thing Monday morning because I knew his situation was dire. He’s been there since, for a week now. His kidney values on his bloodwork were awful and his liver values were affected as well. He was severely dehydrated and he was suffering from internal inflammation.

My husband just gave me an update this afternoon from the Veterinarian. It looks like we may be able to bring Beebo home tomorrow (Saturday) but he’ll have to permanently be on an IV. He still won’t eat food on his own, so we may have to feed him via syringe. We’re looking at end of life care at this point.

My heart hurts so much. I love this little dog so very much, more than any dog I’ve ever owned in my entire (over) 40 years of life. He’s the best dog I’ve ever had, the sweetest, most affectionate, cutest, just all around great little guy. He’s always happy and ready to give kisses and not stop.

My husband reminds me that we’ve had him longer than he was expected to live. He reminds me that when we found out he had a birth defect, many other people would have returned him to the breeder, not wanting the medical expenses or heartbreak. We gave him a very full and loving life.

But does that matter when my heart feels like it does? I want more time with Beebo, 2 1/2 years is not enough to get my fill of his tiny awesomeness. And tiny he is. He’s normally around 9 pounds (4 kilo), and currently he’s just over 7.5 pounds (3.4 kilo). He’s my tiny little chocolate furry love bug.

I spent too many days this week crying. I can’t imagine the devastating loss I’ll feel when we lose him. Those of you who are close to your pets know that they can very much be like children or members of the family. You care for them, feed them, clean them up, care for them when they’re ill, buy them special things to make them happy, and they return that care with their own brand of love and affection.

I’m dreading the days ahead. I will treasure the time I have left with Beebo and take the time to spoil him even more than he already has been – and yes, he’s spoiled rotten. I will cook him scrambled eggs and rice, his favorites, and entice him to eat. I will give him his brother’s treats. I will let him give as many kisses as he wants to and not tell him that enough is enough, because soon…there will never be enough.

Beebo, you’re the best dog anyone could ask for and I love you more than words could ever say.

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