The post I planned on perfectionism is going to have to wait. This post is on Autism, and you’ll see why in a minute. There was a book that was reviewed on a blog I read that I will take the time now to recommend to anybody who knows somebody with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) or if you suspect you yourself are on the spectrum. The book is called Unmasking Autism by Dr. Devon Price.
I bought the book, the audio version, because my son is Autistic and I wanted to learn more about what he goes through. After listening to two chapters, particularly the chapter on female Autism, I knew without a doubt I am on the spectrum. When I listened to the author describe female Autism (apparently it presents differently than it does in typical males) every thing marked the box. I felt he was describing me. I’ve now almost finished the book, so much more of what he’s written about has rung true with me.
The author presents that Autism can be masked by symptoms of certain mental illnesses such as OCD and bipolar depression. This led me to perhaps question if I am in fact Autistic. So what did I do in OCD fashion? I found an Autism test, and another one, and another one, and proceeded to take every single assessment test I could find online. I found the “official” assessment test, and that one and all the others said similarly that I am indeed on the spectrum, one specifying that I have Asperger‘s. I do know that term is no longer used, but many people seem to understand what it means.
I have not spoken to my husband about this. In the past when I mentioned that I thought I may have Autism he reacted with hostility and anger. That was well over a year ago, when he was a different man, so his reaction now may be different?
I have been trying to get him to perhaps listen to the audiobook. That didn’t go as planned because he wants me to finish it first. That 100% makes sense, I just need to hurry up and finish it. I actually plan to today. My hope is that he will listen to the chapter on female Autism and recognize me. I will have to broach the subject with him and just pray for a different reaction than happened in the past.
Unmasking Autism itself has helped me understand there’s nothing wrong with being Autistic, or neurodivergent, it’s just thinking differently than everybody else. My hope is my husband will listen to it and glean the same understanding that I have. But we are all our own persons, and we all take information in differently. I cannot try to predict the future or try to plan for possible outcomes, that is my OCD and I will not let my OCD take control of the situation.
I am seeking diagnosis by a psychologist. It is a bit difficult but I will get it done. We’ll see what a professional has to say, I am just me assessing myself according to a book and online tests. Though the book is written by a Doctor who is in fact Autistic himself. I just had to throw that in lol.
I think it will take an official diagnosis for my husband to accept it. For myself? Logic is my go to, and I’m pretty well convinced based on the evidence. Especially when my son (Autistic) and I are so much alike. Apparently more than I realized.
Again, I recommend the book if you know someone on the Autism Spectrum. I am so much better informed about Autism and what my son is going through himself, I have a new level of understanding. Hearing from someone Autistic really lent validity to the insights as well.