A Problem Without a Fix

No wonder I have no confidence in myself. My own husband has zero confidence in me. I feel so small right now, I want to crawl in a hole.

Tonight we needed to talk business. My salon’s manager is out for an extended period of time due to falling down the stairs and dislocating her shoulder and elbow. My heart goes out to her but that leaves me up the creek, for possibly 2 months.

We were talking about me closing the grooming business and me doing my art in the location. I was thinking along the lines of maybe an Artist Co-op, and he told me I wouldn’t do well because of my social issues. I asked what about it would be the problem, and he said interacting with artists. I said I’m fine one on one, which I absolutely am.

He proceeded to tell me he knows how I am and he was putting me down, at which point I saw red. I did not engage but said:

“Thank you for the vote of confidence.” And kinda stormed away.

So yes, I know I have social anxiety issues, but they are most often crowd based. Dealing with other artists would be relatively easy. I’m trying to figure out the parts I couldn’t do… ?

It feels like he has no faith in me. And it feels like old him, the him who puts me down and doesn’t try to see my perspective in situations.

I need to tell myself that what he thinks 1: isn’t true, 2: doesn’t matter. It’s hard though. I feel like the old me. Not the me that’s been through therapy and coaching. Ugh!

I wish I knew how to fix this. This is one time I have no clue.

3 Comments

  1. I would like to come and bop him over the head with a rubber chicken, because he deserves it. Perhaps one fix is to just do it and prove him wrong. I certainly have confidence in you. Interacting one-on-one with artists is a very different thing from dealing with groups of random people without a shared interest.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Well thank you, he may need a good bopping. Perhaps the avenue to take is to just start small and see if a Co-op evolves from what I start with.
      My mother said the same as you though, to just do it. It’s my business. We shall see!

      Liked by 2 people

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