I was going to bemoan my evening and how depressed my son made me, with his hateful words. Instead, to keep things positive, I have decided to risk sharing an art piece I made today that I’m quite happy with.
The reason it makes me happy is because for so long I’ve not known what to create and I’ve made utter trash! Well, I think it’s been trash. I know art is subjective but well, if the artist hates it, it sucks in my opinion.
I am sharing a pre-signed watermarked copy of a piece I call You and Me, child.
Obviously I don’t sign my work with my pen name (The OA), I sign it with my artist name. That’s really the only difference between the real version and this one.
I’ve been on a kick doing figures or well…abstract people-like forms. There’s something about an ambiguous figure that feels almost melancholic and draws me in. Yeah, I’m weird, but that’s ok with me.
Wanting to share my art has me reconsidering my anonymity. I do so to protect my family from the details I share, but what if I…didn’t? Not stop protecting my family, but stop with certain details that they would find perhaps scandalous.
Would it be the same blog? Could I be as open and honest if I knew a friend or family member might stumble across my words and know (for fact) it’s me?
There would be quite a few posts I’d have to edit or outright remove.
The question is, I’m censoring my artistic side for the sake of anonymity, is the blog now even a true representation of who I am in my journey through my mental illness and recovery?
I spend 3 full days a week creating art, then my spare time on other days in my studio as well. It’s a huge part of who I am and I’ve thus far not shared it. The only reason I’m sharing the piece I have now is because I won’t be sharing it on social media and it won’t be for sale on my website. There’s little risk for a friend to recognize the piece as mine and connect the blog to me.
Do I continue to share art in dribs and drabs like that? Only what won’t get seen by the general public and identify me? That sounds rather…sucky.
With my OCD, this is going to end up playing out in my mind probably a million times over numerous weeks before I even begin to decide. Obsess much? Yes, yes I will. I would love to show off my OCD inspired art, but well…might as well put my name in neon lights then.
I have so many thoughts on this, it’s not my first time considering it. As always though, decision making is arduous and won’t happen for many moons.
Wish I had a real magic 8 ball.