Moral Ambiguity, Is it ok?

I had a friend recently confide something in me she thought I would think badly about her or her partner/wife about. It breaks my heart that she would have thought that I would have thought less of her partner, but I can see her perspective. She knows I am “very” Christian.

She told me her partner works for Planned Parenthood.

I get her hesitation to tell me. Her partner has been with the organization for 20 years, one that helps kill unborn babies.

Just because I am Christian, does not mean I am 100% in the pro-life camp. Yes, tell me I’m going to hell.

I fully believe that abortion in and of itself is murder and a sin. At conception, when the sperm meets the egg, is when life begins. Jeremiah 1:5Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee.

But I think women should have that choice over their bodies, especially in situations of rape and incest. I know that’s not a popular opinion in some faiths. Most faiths (my own).

I remember hearing testimonies when I was younger of women who were raped and actually had their children and either gave them up or raised them. Very courageous and touching indeed. But I think of an instance of a 12 year old (or younger) girl who is pregnant by whichever family member was secretly abusing her and she is then expected to carry that child to full term? Are you freaking kidding me? That’s a huge hell no from me.

I also consider my own rape as a teen. Had I became pregnant, I don’t know what I would have done. I was old enough to have been able to carry it to term and perhaps give it up for adoption. I would never had raised it, I can tell you that for certain.

Thinking back to the late 90’s and my mother and the situation, I can say with near certainty, my mom would have taken me to a clinic to have an abortion. Of course, I was stupid for letting myself get raped, so that’s why I’m thinking that would be her recourse had I gotten pregnant. And I get it. I was poised with early acceptance to an Engineering program at a prestigious University, she would have seen it as life ending.

Ironically, without any pregnancy or subsequent consequences, it was life ending. I did end up attempting suicide about a month into college and being expelled. I still don’t understand that response by a University, truth be told. That’s kicking a dog when it’s down. “You’re so depressed you actively want to die? Sorry, we’re expelling you from school because of that!”

I digress.

I don’t feel like a bad Christian for considering the other side of things or being morally ambiguous on this particular subject. I do know abortion is murder, but I understand why someone would choose it. I don’t condemn their choice or judge them for it.

Yes, God hates all sin, but he loves the sinner. He understands our pain.

I wonder if my friend thought I would suddenly turn on her and tell her that her partner was going to hell and I didn’t want to see her again. I get that Planned Parenthood isn’t 100% just pushing abortion down women’s throats, though unfortunately that’s what people think when they hear their name. It does depend on the location and the people of course.

I’m glad she felt comfortable enough to finally tell me. Maybe someday I’ll tell her one of my many secrets.

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